The Session

The session was long and
Luxurious.

The session was holy
It was street smart

The session brought me
Into my body
It aligned my awareness
To the flow of the universe

It was bitter
It was sweet

The session with an old friend
Continued something we once
Started
Held gently all
These years—

Then Renewed.
Brought out to be viewed,
acknowledged and recalibrated.

But I couldn’t be with her (or myself)
Back then
To the extent I seem to now.

Her attention
Pointed, precise
The field she sits with
It holds her.

All reliable.
Just neutral enough
That it’s not sticky
But engaged, caring enough
That I can land here.

And I’ve never trembled
As though my body were
An ant farm releasing
Its passageways into a
Canyon
Before.

I’ve never trembled beyond
Three dimensions
My heart chakra as a bowl of water vibrating
Old shock and fear bubbled out like storm clouds
Into a desert of sunny horizons


I enjoyed knowing I’d leave this room without that.


The session was lively
It roared with
High pitched belly laughs

The session was tentative
Then moved to
Complete immersion

It was respectful
Even of the things
That keep me from a
Full life.

For those were the ways
My brilliance—indeed my Love
Kept me alive
Got me through

The session was the wake
After the funeral
It was an anniversary
Many years past
Of a death
Nothing that was healing
Was new.

It had simply waited
For this moment
Waited for my friend.

The session was a teaching
It was not mutual
She offered something
I’m just discovering, uncovering, noticing.

Yet.

Yet, I know the forces re-organizing within me
Also nourished her.

It was hopeful
But unknowing

That many more
Hours such as this
Could transpire

And old locked up
Terror-in-a-box
Would not be carried
Beyond this door

So sweet
So—somewhat—anti-climactic
There it went
That “something-got-scary-once”
Energy
That I hadn’t had the safety, nor the ground, to release.

When you find a friend who can give you a hand
With something you’ve kept locked up for years

Stay

Do whatever it takes

You’ve found your green pasture

When you find a friend
who can sit with your
Hurts and appreciate
How brilliantly you’ve
Managed

Stay

You’ve found your still waters.

The session was
Present tense
Embodied in the material
World

The past came rolling off
Like great warm
Murky waves
Seeking a beach
To deposit
Their treasures

There were the deep
Breathless sobs
I would’ve taken
As an infant.

Taken now.
And left here, no longer carried.

My story, at last has been heard
I've said the things I needed to say all these years.

I am becoming the woman I’ve wanted

I’m so glad you too, have made it through.

I wish I had known and been there but … The forces, in your quiet moments of fever, pain and doubt in your own lovableness, saw to it you were seen.

For that I am glad.
And that’s enough.

copyright Sea Ganschow 2006